Trauma-Informed Coaching

Betrayal trauma
changes everything.

If you've betrayed your partner, staying sober isn't enough to repair what broke. The relationship needs something more — it needs you to show up changed. Not just clean. Changed. This is where that work begins.

Book a Free Consultation About Steven

"You know something has to change. The question is whether you're ready to find out what that takes."

ICF Associate Certified Coach Candidate
ERCEM Trained & Supervised
APSATS MPTM Trainee
Trauma-Informed Certified Coach
Vancouver Island, BC · Online — North America
What I Offer

Structured support for
every part of the journey.

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For Men Committed to Change

Help Her Heal

A structured 12-week program using Carol Juergensen Sheets' Help Her Heal framework — building genuine empathy, accountability, and the consistent presence a betrayed partner needs to begin feeling safe.

Group coaching recommended (max 4) · Individual also available.

Group: $60 / 90 min  ·  Individual: $90 / 60 min
Full Program Details →
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For Couples in Early Recovery

Help Them Heal

Structured couples coaching using the ERCEM model — creating the safety she needs to stay, and building the empathy he needs to deserve it. Paced to where each couple actually is, not a fixed timeline.

Guided Full Disclosure available where appropriate, using the Kintsugi Restoring Truth model.

$140 / 50 min
Full Program Details →
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For Men Preparing for Disclosure

Disclosure Preparation

When a man needs to prepare for Full Disclosure and his partner is working separately with her own support — I guide that process individually, using the Kintsugi Restoring Truth model developed by Janice Caudill and Dan Drake.

Full Disclosure is one of the most significant moments in a couple's recovery. Preparation makes the difference. Time spent on disclosure document preparation outside of sessions is billed at $100/hr.

Individual prep: $100 / hr  ·  Both partners: $170 / 50 min
Book Free Consult →
About Steven

Trained. Experienced.
Committed to lasting change.

Steven brings both professional training and a personal understanding of this work that few coaches can offer. His background includes ERCEM couples coaching, APSATS partner trauma training, Kintsugi Full Disclosure methodology, and Carol Juergensen Sheets' Help Her Heal framework — all pursued alongside active supervision and an ICF coaching credential in progress.

His understanding of recovery goes deeper than the classroom. Steven has navigated his own journey through sexual addiction — including intensive residential treatment, years of 12-Step work, and the hard experience of relapse and genuine rebuilding. That path ultimately led him here: to working with men who are ready to do the real work, and with couples trying to find their footing after betrayal trauma.

Based on Vancouver Island, BC, Steven works with clients online across North America.


I also work with male betrayed partners on an individual basis — reach out directly to discuss.


Get in Touch
Steven Loehndorf
Steven Loehndorf
TICC  ·  ICF ACC Candidate
ERCEM Trained  ·  Supervised by Carol Juergensen Sheets
APSATS MPTM Trainee
Kintsugi Disclosure Trained
▶  Watch Podcast with Carol
My Approach

Evidence-informed frameworks
for real healing.

ERCEM — Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model

Developed by Carol Juergensen Sheets, ERCEM is the primary model in Steven's couples work — a structured, empathy-centered path through early recovery. Steven is personally trained and supervised by Carol as part of his ongoing ERCEM certification.

Kintsugi — Restoring Truth Disclosure Model

Developed by Janice Caudill and Dan Drake, the Restoring Truth Model guides couples through a structured, trauma-sensitive Full Disclosure process. Steven is trained in this model and applies it where disclosure is appropriate — as part of couples work or with men preparing individually.

APSATS — Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model

Developed by the founding members of APSATS — including Carol Sheets, Janice Caudill, and Dan Drake — the MPTM is the foundational framework that informs everything Steven does. It centers nervous system safety and trauma-sensitive pacing for betrayed partners, and shapes his approach to all couples work.

Help Her Heal

Carol Juergensen Sheets' structured program for men in recovery — building genuine empathy, accountability, and relational capacity. Steven offers this as both individual and small-group coaching, and is under Carol's direct supervision.

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Safety First

Nervous system safety for the betrayed partner is always the starting point — before empathy, before reconciliation.

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Accountability

Transparency and measurable accountability — not promises, not reassurance. Consistent, observable action.

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Structured Empathy

Empathy is a skill, not an instinct. The AVR framework builds it deliberately — Acknowledge, Validate, Reassure.

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Honest Disclosure

Where appropriate, guided Full Disclosure is one of the most powerful tools available to a couple ready to rebuild.

Recent Writing

Insights for the
healing journey.

01

The Difference Between Stopping and Recovering

What a betrayed partner is really watching for — and why stopping the behaviour is only the beginning.

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02

Why "I Won't Do It Again" Isn't Empathy

The difference between reassurance and empathy — and how the AVR framework sequences them correctly.

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03

Before She Can Feel Safe, She Needs to See Safe

Safety isn't willed into existence — it builds slowly through observable, consistent behaviour over time.

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Testimonials

What clients
are saying.

Working with Steve was truly transformative for my recovery journey. He provided the clear structure and support I desperately needed — starting with helping me set realistic and meaningful goals. One of the most impactful areas was learning how to set and consistently stick to boundaries, which has been essential for protecting my sobriety and well-being. Beyond his expertise, Steve is an incredibly kind person and a good listener. He fosters a completely judgment-free zone, which made it safe for me to be vulnerable and fully explore different paths to healing.

— David B. · Washington, DC

Steve is a coach who always makes time for his clients and creates a safe space. He's not afraid to challenge, but he does so with grace and care to help keep us accountable. He has helped me think through challenging situations and relationships, and I'm so grateful for his support.

— Marcelo S. · Toronto, Canada

Steve helped me a lot with finding empathy towards my partner and other members of my family. He's never invasive, and always asks me questions that make me reflect on what and how I can do better in my interpersonal relationships with others. His guidance is without judgment, and his demeanor is always friendly and supportive.

— Daniel S. · Philadelphia, PA
Recommended Resources

Tools for the
healing journey.

I don't earn anything from these links. They're here because I believe in their value and use them in my work with clients.

📖  Book — Carol Juergensen Sheets

Help Her Heal

An empathy workbook for sex addicts to help their partners heal. Used in my Help Her Heal coaching work.

Purchase on Amazon →
📖  Book — Carol Juergensen Sheets

Help Them Heal

The couples workbook that underpins the ERCEM model — a roadmap for healing the relationship after sexual betrayal trauma.

Purchase on Amazon →
▶  Podcast Episode

The Path to Honesty and Integrity

Steven as a featured guest on Carol Juergensen Sheets' podcast — discussing recovery, empathy, and early-stage accountability.

Watch on YouTube →
▶  Educational Video

The Brain Science of Partner Betrayal

An essential watch for betrayed partners — understanding what happens neurologically when trust is broken helps explain why your reactions make complete sense.

Watch on YouTube →
▶  Educational Video

The Brain Science of Addiction

Understanding the neuroscience of addiction helps both partners make sense of how compulsive behaviour takes hold — and what genuine recovery actually requires.

Watch on YouTube →

Ready to take the first step?

Schedule a free 30-minute consultation to explore whether this framework is the right fit for your situation. No pressure — just a conversation.

Book Your Free Consultation
Get In Touch

Let's start a
conversation.

Whether you're in crisis, in early recovery, or somewhere in between — reach out. I'll listen.

✉
Email
steven@integritydisclosurescoaching.com
📍
Location
Vancouver Island, BC — Online across North America
📅
Free Consultation
Book a free 30-minute call →

Send a message

I typically respond within one business day.